I Might Burst A Lung At These 31 Hilarious Tweets From The Month Of September
by Michaela Bramwell · BuzzFeedI can't believe September is almost over, but internet humor never ends. I've scoured my timeline to find the 31 funniest tweets people posted this month, so let's get into the laughs!
1.
My old roomate who is extremely offline found out that I had a Twitter with a few thousand followers and now just texts me when he thinks his thoughts are worthy of going viral pic.twitter.com/37GesVL0VI
— Hunter SPX Thompson ❎ (@CoorsLightCEO) September 24, 2024
@CoorsLightCEO
2.
remembering when my college friend made Angelina Juulie pic.twitter.com/GVkbcJwGdG
— maxie (colonizer) 🥩 (@maxies_back) September 26, 2024
3.
There was a frozen piece of salmon at the bottom of my fridge I tried to cook after seasoning but I'm realizing this is a mango pic.twitter.com/5pmzT6NVyn
— ★ Nathan D Hernandez ★ (@NateDHernandez) September 19, 2024
@NateDHernandez
4.
MY NEW BATHROOM PORTRAIT CAME IN ☺️😂 pic.twitter.com/nozhj0a8wX
— Raq 🦂 (@Nastyhabittz) September 20, 2024
@Nastyhabittz
5.
My best friend is out of town, and she venmoed us $100 to take her dog out for lunch on his 10th adoptaversary. pic.twitter.com/ELvy6ns6DL
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) September 21, 2024
@svershbow
6.
praying for a peaceful transition of power pic.twitter.com/DXEV9rtkVv
— Sermon Munster (@BaptoHammer) September 12, 2024
@BaptoHammer
7.
I thought my brother was about to offer me something 😐 pic.twitter.com/zIamjm5NRm
— ياسمين (@chebakiiia) September 18, 2024
@chebakiiia
8.
“This is it…this was his dream” a man says to me unprovoked.. I ask “Who? Whose dream?” He says “Thomas Edison… Tom Tom would be so proud” pic.twitter.com/efT8XfKeWl
— thomas (@tlanese777) September 15, 2024
@tlanese777
9.
how are u supposed to sit in a dentists chair cuz i just left an appointment and realized i had been posed like this the entire time pic.twitter.com/TnVKFVLfNB
— viv ✶ (@VlVSlES) September 12, 2024
@VlVSlES
10.
Took out a loan from the bank pic.twitter.com/KvRbXQb3K0
— Andrew (@Swordfish978) September 19, 2024
@Swordfish978
11.
When I lived in DC I once overheard a man tell a woman in a bar: "if the 19 people ahead of me all died one day, I'd be the acting Secretary of Agriculture."
— The Discourse Lover (@Trillburne) September 24, 2024
@Trillburne
12.
everyone is on their own journey??? that is horrible maybe let’s get into groups of 3-5
— charlie (@chunkbardey) September 22, 2024
@chunkbardey
13.
when you feel that first cramp that tells you that your period is about to start pic.twitter.com/OJOn95tG9v
— lauren (@gilmxres) September 24, 2024
Hulu / @gilmxres
14.
Allegiant airlines charges for a glass of water but you know what’s free? Ice. Now we wait. pic.twitter.com/1r3RegBuof
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) September 12, 2024
@GianmarcoSoresi
15.
My youngest son is so hilarious dawg, whenever he gets hungry he sits in his favorite cabinet and points at the stove lol this is his way of telling me to cook 😂 pic.twitter.com/hgKMEfV6tU
— U. (@uniqueblessed) September 2, 2024
@uniqueblessed
16.
Am I high or is this air conditioner unit stargazing with her legs out the window right now pic.twitter.com/ygWYeadoFy
— xtian (@AOWTOUDOUZAT) September 7, 2024
@AOWTOUDOUZAT
17.
Just caught my tomatoes trying to sneak out. pic.twitter.com/hDIzAfM65P
— Douglas Cheape (@CheapeDouglas) September 24, 2024
@CheapeDouglas
18.
ppl have genuinely got mad about this and im not sure how to explain this but paddy cant read... https://t.co/2rEaBu39vB
— robyn 🐰 (@robynsaur) September 9, 2024
@robynsaur
19.
Asked Nonna what her biggest insecurity was when she was a young woman. She said she didn’t have time for that because of Mussolini
— gabriella (@000011111111_) September 16, 2024
@000011111111_
20.
I was laughin, my daughter say let me tell u a secret, i put my ear down she whisper, “iont wanna hear u laugh” 😭😭😭 damn
— Bandhunta (@Bandhunta_izzy) September 13, 2024
@Bandhunta_izzy
21.
when someone asks to use my phone for anything pic.twitter.com/mDlgiQRZLt
— anti (@misstinataurus) September 13, 2024
Nickelodeon / @misstinataurus
22.
Helping my daughter clean her room and not only are we finding cash stashed in random places but she apparently also has a storage box full of unboxed gifts she’s received that she goes to when she “needs a little treat”
— House of M💜 (@TanaIsBananas) September 15, 2024
@TanaIsBananas
23.
last night i was standing outside a bar bc i needed a breather and a guy came up to me and offered a cig and i said how do you know i smoke and he said i've given you cigs on two different occasions where you've cried outside this bar and talked to me about your ex lmfao
— lauren ♈️ (@cruellittlecat) September 15, 2024
@cruellittlecat
24.
girl were the minions here?? 😭 pic.twitter.com/VA3bkUMDst
— robin 💌 (@everlarkangst) September 8, 2024
@everlarkangst
25.
found my halloween costume early pic.twitter.com/aInMfukyeF
— THAT youngin❤️🔥 (@iamthatflyguyy) September 7, 2024
@/iamthatflyguyy
26.
4 year old has a new bit where he pretends to have a fatal scooter accident. it’s very funny but the other patrons of the farmer’s market seemed alarmed pic.twitter.com/MTBjbvRAzm
— pipperberry 🍉 (@pippercorn) September 8, 2024
@pippercorn
27.
Quiet please… Lemon Raspberry Loaf is sleeping pic.twitter.com/pqvfb57AkO
— John Donoghue (@JohnDonoghue64) September 8, 2024
@JohnDonoghue64
28.
apple photos will make an entire montage of the worst person you’ve ever met and add some jazz music on top of it, and then title it “The Good Days”
— Mal🕷️ (@nevermindbruhh) September 4, 2024
@nevermindbruhh
29.
My daughter told me there is a small get together at school on Friday.
I asked her, "How small?"
She replied,
"Just you, me, and the principal.
— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) September 10, 2024
@elainesim28
30.
NAHH YALL GOT IT🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/7frRk0SMmh
— 💎𝐊𝐚𝖎 𝐁💎 (@official_kaiiii) September 11, 2024
@official_kaiiii
31.
every time i see a plastic bag floating in the wind i think of katy perry. if she has no other impact, she has that
— no (@zedonarrival) September 12, 2024
@zedonarrival